Usually when a new client approaches me it is one half of a couple. That one person is ready for change, or knows that a space is not working for how the family needs to use it. The other half of the couple (usually) is coming from the camp of “it’s working fine, I don’t want to spend money on THAT, why do we NEED this?”. Sometimes these projects progress forward with only half of the decisions makers on board. And those projects generally don’t go smoothly.
Renovations or decorating projects work best with both people are on board, excited and willing to put in the time and effort to make the necessary decisions.
But how do you get your other half to make the leap with you if they are acting completely stubborn or unwilling? Try these 5 strategies:
HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE ON BOARD WITH YOUR RENOVATION
1. PLANT THE SEED: Instead of immediately saying– we need to redo our kitchen, start the conversation off a little more casually. Ask your partner questions like :
“How do you feel about this space?”
“Do you think this room is the most efficient use of space for our family?
“What would you change in this room if you could do anything?”
Planting an idea with your spouse and letting them come to some of their own conclusions lets them feel like this whole reno thing was their idea to begin with. That usually translates into success on getting the ball rolling (*ahhem looking at you husband).
2. USE VISUALS. There are SO MANY options when it comes to visual inspiration now. Start Pinterest board or Instagram collection of things that you love. Share them with your spouse instead of bombarding them with words. It is much easier for most people to get excited about ideas that they can SEE.
3. DREAM TOGETHER. This might sound a little cheesy, but it works. Take away all the constraints and just dream. Ask each other, “if money were no option what would you do?” Renovations can be stressful to relationships but they can also be a time to come together and create a space completely custom to your own family and lifestyle. Use this opportunity to talk and dream TOGETHER.
4. FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS. Instead of pointing out all the negative things in the space, use it as an opportunity to explain how things could be better. Highlight the fact that changing something could save you time or money in the long run. New windows or insulation installed during a major reno can cut heating costs drastically, saving cash over the long run. Adding storage or changing up materials can reduce the amount of time you spend cleaning or putting things away. Pay attention to the things that your spouse spends time doing in the house and figure out ways how your renovation can help them do those things with ease.
5. HIRE A PRO. If you are struggling to communicate the necessity of the reno to your spouse it might be time to bring out the big guns. Hiring a consultant to do some preliminary renovation plans might be just what you need to push them over the edge. Most people (*ahhem looking at you again husband) have a hard time visualizing just how their space might look after the renovation, or exactly how much it would cost. Laying out a detailed plan in front of them, before any hammers start swinging, might calm some of their pre-reno nerves.
Happy Designing!
Sincerely,
Allison
MY SHORT BIO.
Founded in 2012 by Allison Harlow, Curio Design Studio focuses on creating distinctive interior environments for new construction, whole house renovations and kitchen + bath remodels for modern families and leading professionals.
